Deep thoughts with Jessica...

As of Today, we have been in Germany for about 5 months.

What I expected when we got here was almost an instant community. I thought that since pretty much everyone was far from family, people would get the homesickness. The fear, the everything. As I've said before, being OCONUS is an amazing opportunity, but also one that is scary as all get out.  I figured that people would be so welcoming, that we would be able to make friends, etc.

To a degree, we experienced that. Our sponsors were gracious and amazing. They introduced us to our city, offered their apartment, phone, car, whatever we needed to get settled. Unfortunately for us, they also ETS'd soon after our arrival. 

 

 It's been a little more tough, but we've been surprised by every turn by people coming out of the woodwork. We're slowly making our little family here again. I forgot that it took me well over a year at Bragg to forge a community...and that it took 2 to make our family there. 

 

Here, I've relied more on social networking. It has definitely helped me keep in touch with friends and family. It also came with a downside for me.

Pregnancy/Birth Announcements.

They can be SO hard to read. It feels as though each announcement says to me "What's wrong with you? Person X already has 2 kids and they're just a year older than you.". Even though I know it's completely bonkers, I feel like somewhere out there is a pool of available babies, and that I am continually missing my chance. That these people are taking MY potential babies. 

Like I said, I know this is not the case. It has gotten much better with time and prayer and so much else. This truly has been a year of growth.  More on that later. 

For the more practical update: We have completed our first rounds of testing with Dr.W. C is fine, but it looks as though I have symptoms resembling PCOS(Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome), but no official diagnosis for it just yet. Dr. W recommended we start Clomid to help me ovulate earlier and hopefully produce better quality eggs. We were all set to start this month, but found at the baseline ultrasound that I had a 1.25" cyst on the right ovary. Since Clomid stimulates your hormones/ovaries, it is highly recommended to not take it if you have a cyst as it will encourage it to grow larger and potentially do some major damage. 

So the first medicated cycle was a bust. We will try again next month, with hopefully better results.

Now that all that's out-Bologna was amazing! Recap to come hopefully this week. Though, classes have started now as well so it may be a bit.  Here's to being more intentional with the time I have!

I remember....

I remember when the Mr. first told me he wanted to join the Army. I was 19, and after he told me I cried. You see, I was dating a goofy theatre kid and I never thought the military would be a plan (I should've...serving in the military goes way back on both sides of his family). I cried because I didn't know what that meant. I cried because I knew at the least we were a country at war and that meant he was going to be deployed.

He had just busted out of his cocoon and is now a beautiful butterfly.

I cried because I was a drama queen. (Seriously. Pulled my Gbig aside to ask her advice and cried at meeting. Drama queen).
Then that Summer he dumped me. I remember sitting in my sorority sister's apartment and watching chick flicks and talking about how he'd be back and he's just a dumb boy.
Then that fall he realized he's really dumb sometimes, and we got back together.
I remember doing pretty horribly on an assignment right after he left for OSUT (basic Training). I remember that professor pulling me aside. He'd never had me in class, but said that it didn't seem like me. I cried to him and told him my boyfriend had just left. He patted me on the shoulder and said his son had left too, but it gets better.  I remember that extension of grace. (And I remember that I was yet again, a drama queen)

Photo from Ciulla Photography

I remember after we got married, that I was so excited in April because he was done with school, I was about to be done with school, and we were going to be able to be done with long distance! (I can hear my veteran spouse friends laughing...). I remember him holding me when he told me that he'd be deploying the following month. 
I remember the joy of buying our house, and getting a puppy.

She's grown just a tiny bit...

I remember crying when the rumors of the next deployment came up.   I remember crying the nights before he left, but not at the parade field...which garnered me criticism. (Seriously).
I remember crying with relief to hold him in my arms again both times.   I remember the blast we've had on marriage retreats, at balls, and at Hail/Farewells. 

I remember falling apart on the drive away from our first base, our first home.   I remember crying on the plane to Germany. 
Why post this? (Other than to illustrate that I'm a pro-level crier/drama queen)
So often as military spouses we tear our fellow spouses down... whether it's that she's crying over him being in the field, or NOT crying during the deployment. That our civilian friends couldn't possibly understand what it's like to live through a deployment, and how stupid they are for thinking that a business trip is in any way equal to one. (For the record, most know it's nothing alike. They're just trying to connect on the premise of missing their person). What if we remembered how it was when we first started out? When that first week of him gone felt like walking through hell? The time we learned to turn off the news when he's gone? 
I have a feeling we'd be much kinder to each other. And in a life like this-where we are often uprooted away from family and friends, and expected to do it all with minimal resources- shouldn't we be more focused on helping one another, instead of laughing at or criticising someone who is just starting out, sad and scared? When will we, as a community, realize that our war stories are very rarely helpful?
I remember...the day I decided to start living in and extending the grace and understanding afforded to me many times over by many people.

Wir kamen nach Deutschland!

(We came to Germany!)

Well, C and I are starting to settle in here! We got to Germany after a LOT of traveling and visiting with family. Probably not as much visiting as we would've liked, but that's our cookie crumbled this time.

We arrived around 1 PM Germany time on Tuesday, and hit the ground running. Our sponsor had some issues getting to us, thanks to a traffic accident on the autobahn, and so we had confusion on whether we were taking a bus or not. Thankfully, we were able to work it all out and get on our way...only to hit a hiccup trying to find the right person to sign a certain form in Wiesbaden. Thankfully, that all worked out the next day.

We had zero issues with the girls, and I'll do a follow up post of all the costs and steps about that. Spoiler alert: it was WAY cheaper and easier than we thought it would be.

C has been in-processing since we got here and it looks as though that will continue for at least another 2 weeks. We have no idea when we will be getting an apartment (We do have to live on post, fortunately/unfortunately),  but we are #2 on the waiting list so it shouldn't be too terribly long. I think we're now hoping for the part of housing we currently stay in with lodging right now.. so we'll see!

Hopefully in the next few days, after some schoolwork catch-up, I'll have more posts headed y'alls way! Unfortunately, it's 2330 here and I need to get on a normal sleep schedule.

Auf Wiedersehn!
Jess

Final Countdown

Well, in less than a week, we leave AZ! I am truly glad to be leaving this post behind. It is pretty, but there isn't much here, the weather is crazy, and I didn't really have the opportunity to make friends. We were here for 6 months, and I was the only person without kids in Cody's class soo that doesn't really help.

It's crazy to think we're leaving this chapter behind. I've left a few other things here... 4 to be exact. I had my wisdom teeth taken out yesterday. Mine were uncomplicated-they had already broken through the gums. They took all four out, and I feel fine. I was so scared to have them done-so many people tell you their horror stories about how they took weeks to feel better. I felt fine yesterday, i feel fine today. It hurts, of course, but not that bad. It's not the worst pain I've ever felt, that's for sure. It's annoying, but not life ending.

Because of the above, Cody has confined me to bed, and set two bed guards on me... JB and Adi hardly let me up. I'm taking it easy, taking antibiotics and using my mouthwash. Of course I'm me and bored so I'm doing homework, blogging, and watching lots of Grey's Anatomy.

I got as much done as I could prior to Yesterday for the move, and I have put Cody to doing the rest. I have most of my clothes together, even in a bag! I need to get a backpack and travel bag together...I am taking all my schoolbooks with me, since I don't know how long it'll be till I have all of our household things. I really don't want to be packing it all in the backpack...the Computer Science book alone would kill me!

In amazing news- We are closing on the house next Wednesday. After changing realtors, our former buyers got their confirmation letter. So, our new realtor being the amazing person he is, was able to make everything come together! So the house will be off our hands on Wednesday, the day we drive out of Arizona. Poetic Justice, no?

That's about all I can handle for now-more Anatomy & Physiology await me. :)

Jess