Where have I been?

Oh you know... doing the usual. Raising a now nearly 15 month old bucket of sunshine and toddler sass, exploring life as a stay at home mom, and waiting. Always waiting. C should be getting his next set of orders soon, so I am hopeful for great adventures in a new city/state, but hopefully back in the US.

Did I mention that I'm pregnant again? That was a shock. After years of treatment and negative tests, imagine my surprise that at an appointment to place an IUD the doctor tells me that won't be possible, as there's a little person in there. Imagine my shock to find out that it's another little boy who will be joining us in September (Oh, and we move in August. O.O I have lost my mind)

With Boy #1, the pregnancy I wrote of last time I wrote in here (nearly 2 years ago. Oy), we had a rough road. My OB couldn't believe my ridiculous (read: Absurdly normal, but poorly timed) weight gain, and so I was tested for Gestational Diabetes 4 times. and then had the shock of my life... and not in the pleasant way. After all that monitoring , all those blood tests, about 8 million ultrasounds.... My doctor missed a very crucial thing- my Son's intestines weren't inside his body.

I have a lot of writing to do, a lot of things to catch you up on. Know that my first son is fine now-you wouldn't even know what he had been through if you saw him now. I am varying levels of fine, depending on the day. My marriage is still one of the greatest blessings to my life. For all that has changed, for all that will change, there are still some constants like Family, Faith, and Food.

Deep thoughts with Jessica...

As of Today, we have been in Germany for about 5 months.

What I expected when we got here was almost an instant community. I thought that since pretty much everyone was far from family, people would get the homesickness. The fear, the everything. As I've said before, being OCONUS is an amazing opportunity, but also one that is scary as all get out.  I figured that people would be so welcoming, that we would be able to make friends, etc.

To a degree, we experienced that. Our sponsors were gracious and amazing. They introduced us to our city, offered their apartment, phone, car, whatever we needed to get settled. Unfortunately for us, they also ETS'd soon after our arrival. 

 

 It's been a little more tough, but we've been surprised by every turn by people coming out of the woodwork. We're slowly making our little family here again. I forgot that it took me well over a year at Bragg to forge a community...and that it took 2 to make our family there. 

 

Here, I've relied more on social networking. It has definitely helped me keep in touch with friends and family. It also came with a downside for me.

Pregnancy/Birth Announcements.

They can be SO hard to read. It feels as though each announcement says to me "What's wrong with you? Person X already has 2 kids and they're just a year older than you.". Even though I know it's completely bonkers, I feel like somewhere out there is a pool of available babies, and that I am continually missing my chance. That these people are taking MY potential babies. 

Like I said, I know this is not the case. It has gotten much better with time and prayer and so much else. This truly has been a year of growth.  More on that later. 

For the more practical update: We have completed our first rounds of testing with Dr.W. C is fine, but it looks as though I have symptoms resembling PCOS(Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome), but no official diagnosis for it just yet. Dr. W recommended we start Clomid to help me ovulate earlier and hopefully produce better quality eggs. We were all set to start this month, but found at the baseline ultrasound that I had a 1.25" cyst on the right ovary. Since Clomid stimulates your hormones/ovaries, it is highly recommended to not take it if you have a cyst as it will encourage it to grow larger and potentially do some major damage. 

So the first medicated cycle was a bust. We will try again next month, with hopefully better results.

Now that all that's out-Bologna was amazing! Recap to come hopefully this week. Though, classes have started now as well so it may be a bit.  Here's to being more intentional with the time I have!

Paris, Part 3

In which I recap day 3 and my angry feet. 

We didn't "do" much on Sunday. We were exhausted, my feet were starting to cry, and we didn't want to burn ourselves out. 
So after breakfast, we headed out for two stops: The Pantheon and the Louvre.
The Pantheon was important for me as two beloved authors are buried there (Voltaire and Hugo), and I was not disappointed. the history in that building is insane. This is also where the Curies, Monsieur Braille, and many others are laid to rest. To be surrounded by it is unexplainable. 
From there, we went to the Louvre. Travel tip: have a plan for the Louvre. It is MASSIVE. We were in there for hours and probably only saw like 5% of the art. Our plan of attack was to see the Mona Lisa first and get it out of the way. I know that sounds really calloused, but we had been told it was a let down (it is), and that portion of the museum is CROWDED and I don't do crowds. 
From there, we went and saw the Islamic art exhibit, and then Napoleon's apartments...chock full of lyre chairs, making my Alpha Chi heart oh-so-happy. 
At that point, ye olde dogs were barking and we went back to the hotel to rest before dinner.
Dinner was at Brasserie Julien, recommended by a friend of mine. It was absolutely amazing! Delicious food, great service...I was highly impressed. I got the Onion Soup (no need to say French ;) ), Lamb, and then brioche french toast. Mr. Got poached eggs/chestnuts, whole sea bass, and lime cheesecake (And scolded by the waiter for choosing a non-french dessert). 

After that, we explored. We wanted to say that we had seen the Moulin Rogue, so we popped up in that part of the city to take a picture, and immediately left. Mr was also in a play in college called Picasso at the Lapin Agile, so that was a must find as well.   

 
Then it was a quick stroll back to the hotel to get ready to leave. We left the next afternoon, after a morning shopping at Galeries Lafayette and Printemps. Of course, I left Paris with more macarons... *insert dreamy sigh here*. Can't get enough of them!

It was an amazing birthday trip that can not be replicated! I felt so blessed to have that time with Mr and to get to see more of the world. I'm looking forward to our next trip- this weekend (!!) we are headed to Bologna, Italy for Mr. to nerd out over Kappa Sigma history for his birthday!

Paris, Part 2

In which, I valiantly attempt to recount a whirlwind day of sightseeing.      SO! Day 2: we start out with breakfast at the hotel. I had signed up for their frequent stays club (Only requires your email address) and that got us in for free breakfast for our stay, as well as a coupon for dinner at the hotel restaurant. Of the two, I think breakfast was the better deal. ;)    After breakfast, we went back up to our room to wait. My mom had booked a tour guide for us as a birthday present, but we were unsure of where/how to meet him. We figured that waiting in the room was the right choice, and were rewarded with a phone call from the concierge shortly thereafter letting us know the guide had arrived!   Scott was great, he was recommended by the guy my mom had originally wanted (Michael Osman), and I think he was perfect for me and the Mr, especially seeing as he's an actor and all!   After a quick brainstorm-we were off! By the end of the day, we had seen: St. Chapelle, the Conciergerie, Notre Dame, Pont des Arts(Lover's lock bridge),  Les Invalides/Napoleon's Tomb, Arc de Triomphe, and the Eiffel tower. PHEW!  

St. Chapelle

Notre Dame

Altar of Notre Dame

Winning Nativity Scene in Notre Dame

Back of Notre Dame

Napoleon's Tomb

View from the Top of the Arc de Triomphe

View of Paris from the Eiffel Tower

    We crisscrossed Paris easily thanks to the visite passes, and made it in plenty of time for our 5:00 PM Eiffel Tower ride! There was so much history and so many things learned from our trip that to begin to write it all would be to begin the blog post that never ends...so enjoy the pictures instead. ;)  My two tips for sight seeing in Paris: Vistie Passes and Musee' Passes. The former lets you get around easily, the latter pays for itself. Many sights and museums participate, and just by going to the Louvre and Notre Dame it pretty much is cost efficient...except with the pass you get to keep going places without spending more money!   After that, it was a quick jaunt back to the hotel for dinner in the hotel restaurant. We were pretty unimpressed by everything but dessert. The service was pretty poor (We deduced it was because we didn't speak French, as we watched those who spoke it around us get excellent service), and the food just felt like it was trying too hard. I did try foie gras, and it wasn't bad!   

After-dinner lemon Madelines

Mr.'s Chestnut flavored dessert (Complete with edible gold...because Paris)

My apple dessert with the best sorbet EVER in the foreground.

  After all that, we collapsed in bed and tried to prepare ourselves as much as possible for day 3: The Louvre and the Pantheon.       

Paris, part 1

Phew, what a weekend! I hate that it's taking so long to post these, but Mr. also took about 900 pictures.... and I'm not exaggerating.     We left early Friday for Paris. Luckily, we live just uphill from the train station, so we walked down and got on our first train. This one just took us from Wiesbaden to Frankfurt. Then, we had about 10 minutes to hop on our next train- from Frankfurt to Paris (Est).    We sprang for first class, and I feel it was worth it. We had extra leg room, we had a light meal delivered to our seats, and it was generally quiet. 2nd class was more crowded...think typical coach on an airplane, and no meal. There was an on board restaurant, but the Mister says it wasn't very good.   We arrived in Paris around 1, and had a little issue with figuring out the train system. After walking to Paris (Nord), We eventually figured it out and bought Paris Visite passes, which are definitely worth it! We were able to travel by metro anywhere within Paris as frequently as we wanted for 3 days. It definitely made a difference in our ease of sight seeing that's for sure!   We eventually made it to our hotel, and set our bags down and headed right back out. We wandered around the area our hotel is in, enjoying just seeing sights. I did make sure to stop for a birthday treat- macarons from Fauchon!  

After all this, we had a dinner at Cafe Marco Polo, which was just okay. It won major points for convenience... it's right across the street from our hotel (Concorde Opera Paris) I got steak frites- delish! Mr got scallops, which he claims were delicious.

We got crepes for desert, but I forgot to grab a picture. ;) We went to bed early, which was perfect for our insanely busy day two... Coming tomorrow! Au revoir! 

OCONUS Jealousy

 By the time y'all are reading this, the Mr. and I are on our way to Paris for my birthday! I just wanted to share some thoughts about living overseas for the weekend.   If you live overseas for any amount of time, two things will happen.  1. People will make you feel like you're not doing "enough" traveling at any given point. Maybe this is just a me thing, but we hear (often) about how everyone has all these plans for every. single. four day. See, if you were in the states,  your plans for a four day would probably be to relax, maybe see or do something in your town or just nearby, but that's about it.  Here, people go NUTS. The Mister is taking a four day for my birthday, and we're going to Paris. We're not traveling for Christmas or New Year's. When we say that...we get the wide, unblinking stare of disbelief. How DARE you have time off and not use it to see more of this country!
Look, we love it here, and we love travel. We just also have some debts to take care of, work to do, Pets that need us, and Doc appointments. We can't take off every month-and that's okay. We're still seeing as much as we can.
2. Related to number 1, your friends and family romanticize your time here. People say things like "I have no tips for you, not all of us can go to Paris for a weekend!". Or, "Gosh, I'm so jealous it must just be awesome to be there and get to Travel all the time".  Yes, it's awesome to be here. Yes, we feel very blessed to have these opportunities...however...
I get to go on a 4 day birthday trip to Paris, because I gave up having holidays with my family.  I get to experience this wonderful culture, because I am willing to deal with the 6/7/8 hour time difference from people I love. 
Not everything here is rosy, and it's not wonderful all the time (But it is pretty close!). Just remember that being in Germany isn't all beer, schnitzel, and traveling throughout Europe. It's also missing home, missing family, and a language/culture barrier that is insurmountable at times.

On my birthday Eve..

Tomorrow is a pretty awesome day.... I'm turning 26!
There's a lot of things I could say about it. I could say that I'm not where I thought I would be, that things are hard, that even though things are hard-they are also great, that I'm SO excited about Paris and traveling by train, give a recap of the major events from this year, and on and on.. and none of these things would be wrong... but they aren't what I want to write about.
Today, I'm writing about what I am going to work on for year 26...And intersperse some photos from 25 throughout.

My best girlfriends got in my house and decorated it for my birthday last year :)

Love.
I want to look back at 26 and see that this was the year that I let it become my guiding principle, that I let that be how I approach people and situations.  

The girl who made it SO hard to move from Fayetteville!

  To take this to a religious side of things-Jesus gave us two commandments- To love our God and our Neighbor.  This year, I'm going to focus on those two things, and let the rest fall where it may.   

The best meal of my life, while celebrating 25 (belatedly) in Vegas!

  This means trying to let judgement go. This means letting things that hurt or annoy me roll off my back.

Seeing these two tie the knot is definitely a highlight of the year. And I still cry. Cause I'm a little pathetic.

Like I could leave my favorite munchkin out of this...

Most importantly, it means Grace. And not just for other people-It means for myself...maybe even most of all!    

Waiting for our plane to Germany!

Like most people, I am my own worst critic. This year, I'm going to learn to extend grace to myself, and love myself-flaws and all. Who am I to say that I'm not smart enough? Maybe I'm just the right kind of smart to accomplish what I need to. Who am I to say that I'm not pretty? My 'haters' will be quick enough to tell me that-do they really need my help?! This also means less hiding when someone breaks out a camera-I'm resolving to take more pictures with me in them this year!

I hate the shadows in this...but this was our 2nd Market!

So, here's to a year of Love and Grace...  

 

Selfie...no makeup. I can say a lot of things about this picture-but it's me. This is me on a daily basis-mascara and hair messy. Feeling heavier than I'd like, but loving that I'm still healthy and alive and able to enjoy all that I have.

On blogging...

As part of one of my courses, we were instructed to keep a blog. For simplicity's sake I am using this one. I figured I'd share why I blog! I started this blog as a way to keep family and friends up to date on what's going on with us. Being in Germany puts us 6 hours ahead of eastern time, so it's pretty difficult to keep up with family, especially family that works. I also thought it would be a good place to get "out of my head" on our journey of trying to expand our family. It's not easy,and the journey can be very isolating. I blog because it's fun for me! I blog because it helps me keep up with my Army Spouse friends.  Blogging, however, isn't for everyone. It's been hard to keep up with (as evidenced my long spaces between posts..), but it's worth it for me. So many people in my course are saying that they don't enjoy it, which I can understand. If you're more private, then blogging definitely isn't for you.  Why do you blog?

I remember....

I remember when the Mr. first told me he wanted to join the Army. I was 19, and after he told me I cried. You see, I was dating a goofy theatre kid and I never thought the military would be a plan (I should've...serving in the military goes way back on both sides of his family). I cried because I didn't know what that meant. I cried because I knew at the least we were a country at war and that meant he was going to be deployed.

He had just busted out of his cocoon and is now a beautiful butterfly.

I cried because I was a drama queen. (Seriously. Pulled my Gbig aside to ask her advice and cried at meeting. Drama queen).
Then that Summer he dumped me. I remember sitting in my sorority sister's apartment and watching chick flicks and talking about how he'd be back and he's just a dumb boy.
Then that fall he realized he's really dumb sometimes, and we got back together.
I remember doing pretty horribly on an assignment right after he left for OSUT (basic Training). I remember that professor pulling me aside. He'd never had me in class, but said that it didn't seem like me. I cried to him and told him my boyfriend had just left. He patted me on the shoulder and said his son had left too, but it gets better.  I remember that extension of grace. (And I remember that I was yet again, a drama queen)

Photo from Ciulla Photography

I remember after we got married, that I was so excited in April because he was done with school, I was about to be done with school, and we were going to be able to be done with long distance! (I can hear my veteran spouse friends laughing...). I remember him holding me when he told me that he'd be deploying the following month. 
I remember the joy of buying our house, and getting a puppy.

She's grown just a tiny bit...

I remember crying when the rumors of the next deployment came up.   I remember crying the nights before he left, but not at the parade field...which garnered me criticism. (Seriously).
I remember crying with relief to hold him in my arms again both times.   I remember the blast we've had on marriage retreats, at balls, and at Hail/Farewells. 

I remember falling apart on the drive away from our first base, our first home.   I remember crying on the plane to Germany. 
Why post this? (Other than to illustrate that I'm a pro-level crier/drama queen)
So often as military spouses we tear our fellow spouses down... whether it's that she's crying over him being in the field, or NOT crying during the deployment. That our civilian friends couldn't possibly understand what it's like to live through a deployment, and how stupid they are for thinking that a business trip is in any way equal to one. (For the record, most know it's nothing alike. They're just trying to connect on the premise of missing their person). What if we remembered how it was when we first started out? When that first week of him gone felt like walking through hell? The time we learned to turn off the news when he's gone? 
I have a feeling we'd be much kinder to each other. And in a life like this-where we are often uprooted away from family and friends, and expected to do it all with minimal resources- shouldn't we be more focused on helping one another, instead of laughing at or criticising someone who is just starting out, sad and scared? When will we, as a community, realize that our war stories are very rarely helpful?
I remember...the day I decided to start living in and extending the grace and understanding afforded to me many times over by many people.

Getting to know Deustch...Getting to know alll about Deutstch(land)

Last post, I mentioned that I had been doing a 3 day course called culture college. It was intense! 9-3 for three days, with about 40 of my new friends.  Day one: Classroom learning     This was an all day thing in a chapel basement with poor acoustics..not so good for the deaf girl. The information was great, however. They taught us a lot about German history, culture, and language. Our instructor is from Germany so she was SO helpful.      Day two: walking tour  

    So this was my favorite day, because it was the most applicable to daily life. From post, you can walk downtown, and we did! They took us to see all the major historical sites, some interesting  places to shop and eat, and some places that are just helpful to know. For instance-they took us into the train station so we could aquaint ourselves with how it is laid out and how to get tickets. Seems self explanatory, but it was actually good info to know.     Day 3: Garrison Briefing By far, my least favorite day. Is that bad? It was a bunch of the different offices on post telling us about the services they offer and what's in store for our post. I did love learning that there is a new PX opening in the near future! Currently, our shops are all spread out. The main PX isn't with the outdoor stuff, which is separate from the electronics, which is separate from the sports store, which is separate from the home store. It's incredibly frustrating-especially for someone like me who isn't driving.  I did end up winning a sweet BMW sunshade for the car because I can say 9:30 in German.  

  All in all, I'd definitely recommend this (FREE) seminar to anyone moving to Wiesbaden, or it's equivalent in other garrisons. Even though we've been here for a month and I thought I wouldn't learn anything, I walked away with a lot of good knowledge and orientation to the city. Here's to another couple of years of German adventure!